Written by: April Vargo
As I sit down to write this, I just got home from my first solo expedition with Maizy. I was a little apprehensive, as I've never gone anywhere with a baby. I feel like I've got the whole taking care of baby routine down at home, but going out is a totally different story. There's so many what-ifs that could happen. When you're all alone you wonder what happens if I need help? What if something goes wrong?
I'm happy to report that the first expedition was a success! It was significantly easier than I thought. As I was getting ready, making my mental list of everything I would need for her for the couple hours we were gone, I realized I suddenly wasn't nervous anymore. I knew exactly what it was I needed to do, felt prepared, and had given myself plenty of time so as not to rush.
Today was my six week check up. I have been feeling pretty good and expected a clean bill of health from my doctor. I was so excited to see everyone and, honestly, to be in public again. I was told my incision looked great and I was able to go back to any and all activities I wanted to do. I scored a perfect score on my postpartum test. He made a comment, that if he ever needs anyone positive to come to, that he'll look me up. I am honestly incredibly happy.
I have always wanted to have a family. Being an "older" mom in my 30's I feel like this is the perfect time in my life. I've been able to do everything I wanted to do. I got an education, traveled pretty extensively, studied and performed abroad, got married, developed a career, started a business, wrote a book, and have some pretty amazing people in my life. When it was time to have a child, I was ready.
I understand that everyone is not in the same situation, and things can happen at anytime for anyone. When we were trying, we would constantly get the comments, "eee you're getting kind of old.....you're running out of time........you may have waited too long." Things happen when they are supposed to. Now when I look at all of the work that's entailed in raising a child, I'm glad I'm a little older. I'm more mature, definitely able to handle the things that are being thrown my way, and don't feel as though I've missed any part of my life. I was ready for this next stage.
That being said, it's definitely been a big change. One that invariably happened overnight. I had nine months to prepare, but you don't know what it's going to be like until that little one arrives. I often think how something so small has changed my entire world.
Life is no longer about me, no longer about my husband, it's about this little girl and the family that we are creating. Priorities instantly start to change, the way you look at things changes, and your routine completely changes.
I've often heard that you don't remember your life before your little one arrives, it's almost as if they were always there. I remember my life before, and found it kind of funny when I started making comparisons to the present.
Now: Sleep happens in segments, what's a full night?
Then: I slept through the night and then some. If it was a long week, maybe I'd sleep in.
Now: Sleeping in is comical. It's shocking how little your body actually needs to function.
Now: Eating happens during naps or as a bottle is in Maizy's hand.
Then: Meals happened around work schedules and were able to be made, sometimes in advance, and eaten in a single sitting.
Now: Dinner sometimes has to be eaten lukewarm because someone is up and crying. I calm her down first and then eat, or Jason and I take turns. He eats and then takes care of her while I eat.
Then: Jason and I used to take evenings making dinner together while enjoying a bottle of wine.
Now: One of us starts dinner while the other sometimes joins in to help.
Now: Get all of your stuff done while she's sleeping. I'm shocked at how productive I can be in an hour's time. I can get the dishes, laundry, bottles, garbage, writing, work, and paperwork done in an hour or two before she needs my attention.
Then: Stuff got done when you had time, at your own pace. No one was keeping a time limit on you. I probably could have done things faster if I did time myself though. LOL
Now: TV and movies after dinner or work usually means me falling asleep on the couch for however much time I have because I'm so tired and have probably just sat down for the first time with nothing to do.
Then: If it was a long day, or our favorite TV show or movie was on, we'd snuggle on the couch and enjoy the show.
Now: I work 24/7. I don't get nights, weekends, or holidays off. My job literally never ends.
Then: My work schedule was how I planned it. I always took holidays and weekends off.
Now: I got to wash and moisturize my face, brush my teeth, and shower.....hey there sexy lady!
Then: I did all of the above while wearing carefully crafted outfits, makeup and hair done, nails painted, and perfume on.
Now: My hands are cracked and bleeding from doing dishes and wash. My hair is always pulled back. My clothes are covered in spit up, drool, and sometimes, if I'm lucky, I get peed on. But....my daughter always looks cute.
If you read these comparisons you may say, my goodness lady how can you be happy?
I look down at this little person who has changed my life so drastically and I see love, I see my husband and I in her. We tried so hard to get her here and she's a perfect embodiment of two people who love each other and brought her here under that premise.
The moments when she smiles, or nuzzles her head against your cheek, or just stares at you with eyes that are filled with wonder and endless possibilities. I realize my greatest accomplishment in this life is going to be the person I get the pleasure of raising. That makes all of the drool, pee, and tears worth it.
How did your life change when your child entered your world?