Written by: April Vargo
Time is a funny thing, we either have too much of it or not enough of it. People are constantly trying to race the clock, get one more thing in, or push things off all together - thinking they have infinite time. The truth is it catches up to us all.
People have the best of intentions, but sometimes either things just don't get done or can't get done. Life happens and learning to be flexible is so incredibly important.
Growing up, I used to be the biggest procrastinator. I loved waiting until the last minute, felt that the stress and rush of it all helped me perform better, and the results always seemed to be in my favor. I didn't see any reason to change because my way worked for me,
As I grew up, and by grew up, I mean became an adult, I realized more work would build up with my previous method and I would be pulling more all nighters than I cared to admit. I also had some pretty grandiose ideas that I was determined to make come to fruition. Instead of just completing tasks I was also adding more to my plate. I felt that if I didn't do it, it wouldn't be done right and that the world would obviously end if I wasn't involved in every possible committee, role or task.
My mom used to ask me, if April isn't involved in everything will the world just stop? Will people not be able to function because you don't have your hand in everything? I have thought back to this comment from time to time and it seems to be even more relevant to me at this stage in my life.
I'm about to approach a transition, where I will be taking a couple months off and my roles will be changing. So far I've been wife, daughter, sister, business owner, teacher, director....and now I'll be adding mom to the list. This, in my mind, is going to be my biggest role yet. The closer I'm getting to my due date the more I'm realizing that I don't think I am fully comprehending how much my life will change.
I'm having mixed emotions, because I've always identified myself with my career and accomplishments. Now everything will be shifting and I'm not exactly sure what that means.
I have had recent conversations with my mom and an amazing friend of mine, Lynsie, who have already mentioned offering a helping hand after the baby is born. I didn't really understand what that meant. I don't ask for help, honestly, I can do most things on my own. This idea that I may not be able to be fully independent is very foreign to me. They've both offered to help with recuperation after delivery. Honestly, I kind of thought I would just be back on my feet in no time with a few minor adjustments here and there.
I don't know why it did, but a few days ago it hit me, that I may not be being completely realistic about what's about to come. I voiced this to my husband, who very patiently looked at me and said, oh you haven't been realistic about this whole thing at all. Most people know that I can be incredibly stubborn and need to come to conclusions on my own / learn the hard way in some instances.
The moment that I realized that I may not be able to do it all on my own, I started to really appreciate the help I was being offered. I realized, that maybe to fault of my own, I don't usually have people I turn to / who check in on me. This is usually because I just deal with life on my own and am more concerned with other people. I will always reach out to people to see how they are doing, but I don't share too much on my end.
Having these two people call me, ask if I need anything, and offer help while being patient, knowing how stubborn I can be has really meant quite a lot. I learned that maybe I don't have to always do it on my own. I can depend on others and it doesn't mean I'm incompetent or weak it means that I have some pretty amazing, caring people in my life.
My life will be very different moving forward, and I'm sure it's going to be a huge learning curve. I'm not exactly sure where these next few months will lead me or how my future / life will be impacted. I'm excited to be gaining a new role, and see where this new adventure leads me.